I’m laying in bed watching television with the Mrs. snuggled up next to me. Don’t recall what we were watching, but it’s not important anyway. All I know is that I’m in my favorite place with my favorite person, thinking nothing could go wrong.
As if on queue, she starts nibbling on my ear and I forget what I can’t remember we were watching. “Don’t start something you can’t finish!” I say with a smile.
She giggles. “You know what would be nice?” She asks.
I raise an eyebrow. “No what?”
“It would be so nice,” she purrs, “if you talked to me right now like I’m your girlfriend!”
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! My sixth sense, which is just like Spidey Sense, starts going crazy. I flashback to the last time this happened. When she asked me if she looked fat in a particularly cute little red dress. I can’t for the life of me remember the crime I committed that day either, but I remember the verdict and the sentence: Guilty! Three days on the couch! The sound of a gavel crashing down. I learned what it felt like to be in The Hole.
But I’m a much wiser man and husband now! A seasoned veteran when it comes to knowing the inner workings of my woman’s mind. “Talk to you like you’re my girlfriend?” I ask, just to be sure I heard her right.
“Yeah!” She says, still nibbling on my ear and purring like a little minx.
I turn my head so I can whisper in her ear. “I don’t know what you have in mind, but you’d better hurry before my wife gets home!”
I don’t know how I got here or where here is. But it doesn’t feel like the couch!